Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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