I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
