in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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