quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize