My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
