We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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