oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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