At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize