Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
