Do you still have your period?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He did a backflip because drugs
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
