when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
