Who did Billy Mays play for?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
