my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
