so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
