just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
