My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize