if only i could text you this smell
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
