it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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