I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize