he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
