did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize