He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
