She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
