I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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