There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
