Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
