i was rollin on her like bob the builder
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
