Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize