he thought i was a dude.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
