I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
