There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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