Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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