hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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