If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
