If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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