Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
