how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It was confusing and full of hummus
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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