In the future we'll all be gay
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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