After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize