and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
