So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
