i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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