i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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