Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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