i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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