Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
