69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize