i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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