Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
