dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
