I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
