no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
