We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
