We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
