i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
