so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
