just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
