SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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