We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize