He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
