DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
