I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
