so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize