1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
