last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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