i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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