True but thats because hes a fetus.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
