He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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