Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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