I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
