i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
