We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
false alarm, still single
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
