the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
