I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
