So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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