Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
