Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
