For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My pussy is not your playground.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
