ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
