Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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