No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
