Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
