a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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