She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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