Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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